The worst family emergency may be the one that happens to you

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surgery-1822458_1280How well would your family function if a medical emergency happened to you? As special needs parents, we tend to focus on preparing for emergencies that might happen to our kids, and it’s fair to say that’s a good thing to do.  But in reality, there is probably a far greater probability of serious consequences happening if the primary caretaker in the family has an emergency and no preparation has been done.

  • Who knows your child’s routine?
  • Who knows how to contact medical providers – and has the authority to talk to them?
  • Who has access to your appointment calendar?
  • Who can access your bills and bank accounts to make sure the mortgage and the health insurance premium is paid?
  • Who can authorize medical care for you – and who can authorize visitors to the hospital?
  • Who can speak to your child’s teachers and therapists?
  • Who knows how to spend your child’s benefits and to keep track of expenses for reporting purposes?
  • Who knows how to find your child’s special needs trust?
  • Is it clear who will become your child’s guardian if you can’t continue – or will family members be fighting over it?
  • Will your child’s social security and medicaid benefits continue without interruption if your medical emergency becomes a death?

Americans are chronically underprepared for incapacity and death – less than half of adults have a will.  Lack of planning creates unnecessary expense and chaos – but when you are also the caretaker of a special needs child or adult, that lack of planning can create immediate and serious problems for that child who is dependent on you for care.

Estate and incapacity planning for families with special needs members requires very specific tools, and requires thinking through more scenarios than other families.  Attorneys at Parker Counsel special needs law firm know how to put together a plan that will meet your family’s specialized needs and we will work with you prepare for the worst of times with the least disruption to your child with disabilities.

Parker Counsel Legal Services serves families in Central Texas, Western Massachusetts, Northern New Jersey, and the New Hampshire Seacoast with special needs estate planning, special needs trusts, and guardianships. Contact us for a consultation at 833-RED-BOOT (833-733-2668) or legal@parkercounsel.com

Seek out others like you and learn from them

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support- scrabbleIf you’ve been a parent of a child with special needs for very long, you know how many things you run into that the ordinary parenting books, and ordinary parents, can’t answer for you.  The very best thing I ever did for myself as a parent of children with special needs is to hook up with other parents.  There are many ways to do so – your school may sponsor special ed parent meetings, local disability organizations may sponsor parent meetings.  Online you can find parent groups connected by email, and many parent support groups are on Facebook.

Join a group and listen.  Make a point to participate by answering questions and asking your own.  Share the good, the bad, and the ugly about your days.  You’ll learn a lot.  You’ll learn about resources for your kids. You’ll learn about treatments and techniques that others use.  You’ll learn about programs for your kids.  You’ll learn about ways others have found to deal with insurance, and doctors, and therapists, and bureaucracy.  You’ll learn what the future may hold for your child.

And most importantly of all, you’ll learn that you are not alone.  You’ll learn that there are people who understand your life and that you can talk to without judgement.

You may know I have two personal needs children of my own, and I belong to several parent groups.  And frankly, I have learned and still learn frequently from the clients sitting in my office as we drift away from discussing executors and trustees and start talking about our lives.  No matter where you live and how much you know, there is always more information out there, and parents are often the best source.

Some online parent groups you may want to check out:

North Shore – Seacoast Special Needs Parents

Pioneer Valley Special Needs Parents

Austin Special Needs Facebook Group

Parent Support – Veterans of the Fight

Adults with Cerebral Palsy Advising Parents of Kids with CP

Parents of Severely Disabled Kids

If you belong to a great parent group, please post it in the comments for others to check out.

Parker Counsel Legal Services serves families in Central Texas, Western Massachusetts, Northern New Jersey, and the New Hampshire Seacoast with special needs estate planning, special needs trusts, and guardianships. Contact us for a consultation at 833-RED-BOOT (833-733-2668) or legal@parkercounsel.com

Eighteen and armed . . . with all the best documents!

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I love having 18 year olds in my office.  They signal they are listening intently to me by making their eyes wide and keeping them trained on me while I talk, but the slight glaze over the eyeball is obvious as they nod and agree and pretend like they understand everything we’recollege students talking about.

Now, don’t get me wrong, they DO understand, but they don’t UNDERSTAND.  They know that the power of attorney means someone else can access their bank account and get money to pay the landlord if for some reason they can’t do it, but they don’t really get why that matters.   They understand that the HIPAA form means everyone they list on it will be able to call the hospital and get information on their condition if they wind up in a car crash far from home, but they don’t really know why we think that might happen.  They understand that the FERPA release will let their parents arrange for a leave of absence from their college if a medical emergency lays them low for a few months, but they really kinda think we’re being ridiculously anxious about things that will never happen.

They don’t yet understand that life is unpredictable.  They don’t yet understand that the unpredictability can cause problems that last for years if they are ignored.  They don’t yet understand that it’s easier to prevent a major problem with a little planning than it is to try and clean up a problem that has grown to an intrusive problem.  They don’t understand that one eviction for nonpayment of rent, one default on tuition payments, one medical emergency where an insurance company gets away with denying services that should have been covered can all have far reaching consequences that affect their life and options for years to come.

But parents understand.  So every 18 year old client that I have, sitting in front of me while I explain the personal legal documents that every adult should have, has a parent or two sitting in the waiting room, who understand.

It’s easy to book an hour and a half appointment for your young adult to complete all the personal legal documents every adult – even young ones – should have.  Give us a call at 833- RED-BOOT (833-733-2668) or email legal@parkercounsel..com  Whether you’re in Austin, TX, Western Massachusetts (Amherst, Northampton, Springfield, the Berkshires) or Northern New Jersey. 

Swedish Death Cleaning

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Have you heard about this?  As I understand it, there is a tradition in Sweden, verified by the existence of a single word in the Swedish cleaning toolslanguage that means the cleaning and decluttering done by a person who believes that their life is close to the end, of culling your worldly possessions to a manageable amount of meaningful or immediately useful items before you die. Or something like that.  I’m not sure if this is an actual Swedish tradition or merely something we’ve all suddenly started talking about here in the U.S.  Either way, it’s an interesting idea.   You can read more about it here and here.

I’m certainly not opposed to the idea behind Death Cleaning.  However, it seems to me to be the same as the idea behind Spring Cleaning, or behind the “Decluttering” advice, which you can read about here and here.  The only difference I can see is that Swedish Death Cleaning is for people who never got around to Spring Cleaning or Decluttering.   Same thing, just pushed to the last minute.  Maybe, at its heart, Swedish Death Cleaning is the ultimate proof of hardcore procrastination versus your ordinary, garden variety procrastination.

And finally, remember that unless your death cleaning results in throwing every single one of your possessions, you’ll still need a will.  (Had to get that plug in, because taking care of adult business always includes paperwork!)

 

People and Money – How to Prepare for Lifelong Care for Your Special Needs Child

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people and money product shot (1)It’s overwhelming to think about, we know.  But we have a system and can walk you through the four key areas of planning that will create a system to care for your child no matter what the future may bring.   We will help you, step by step, put together a community of caregivers, maximize financial supports, create transition tools, and nail it all down with the proper legal documents.

Start with a free phone conversation.  Find out what you need to know.  Find out how we can help.  Find out how to put your plan together.  Step by step.  It’s easier than it seems.   Call us (833) RED-BOOT (833-733-2668) , schedule a short information call at calendly , or email legal@parkercounsel.com start-1063441_1280

3 Things to know about attorney-client privilege

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secret-3037639_1280The term attorney-client privilege is in the news today.  If you have an attorney, or if you are about to hire an attorney, or if you are thinking about an attorney, some of this news may be alarming to read.  So before you go any further, I want to give you three important things to know about attorney-client privilege.

  1. Attorney-client privilege protects confidential information learned by an attorney in the course of consulting with, advising, or representing a person.    Attorney’s can’t give good legal advice if they don’t have good information.  Sometimes the information the attorney needs is something the client doesn’t want other people to know about – like how much money they have, or whether they gave a child up for adoption, or that their mother would make a terrible guardian for their child.  The attorney client privilege is intended to make sure that people feel comfortable telling their attorney all relevant information so that the attorney can give the right legal advice to them.
  2. Attorney-client privilege does NOT protect communications made in order to plan, continue, or cover-up a crime.  If a client confesses a crime to an attorney, that information is covered by attorney-client privilege.  But if the client and attorney discuss how to commit a crime, or if the attorney gives advice on covering up a crime that has already been committed, those communications are not covered by privilege.   An attorney cannot help a person commit a crime, and any communications surrounding such advice or assistance are not protected by privilege.
  3. Attorney-client privilege does NOT apply if the communications aren’t made in a confidential manner.   The attorney-client privilege extends only to communications and information that is intended to be confidential.  If the client discusses information in front of people who are not connected to the representation, it may not be considered confidential.  Talking to or in front of the attorney’s staff is generally the same as talking to the attorney, but if a person discusses information in a public area where others can overhear, that may void the confidentiality.  Clients sometimes want family members to sit in on meetings with their attorney, but doing so might mean that anything discussed in front of the family member loses its attorney-client privilege.

What does this mean for you today?  It means that despite what you may hear in the news, attorney-client privilege is alive and well and will protect your confidential communications with your attorney. This also means that it is safe to answer any questions your attorney needs to ask in order to properly represent you.  If you are hesitant to tell your attorney a sensitive piece of information, ask about confidentiality first and have your attorney explain to you how the privilege works in your specific situation. 

 

Four reasons your special needs child will never be neglected

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Special needs parents worry.  I say it a lot because it’s true.  They worry about the day to day, they worry about money for therapies and home-2939310_1280equipment, they worry about school resources, they worry about finding good people to help care for their child, they worry about the future, and most of all, in the back of their mind where they shove the worries they don’t want to have to think about, they worry about their child being abandoned, neglected, and abused.  They worry about the very thing that happened to 35 poor residents of a Chicago-area residential home this week.  You can read the story here.  But the upshot is that a worst case scenario happened and the owners of this residence simply locked the doors and left the residents alone.  Abandoned, neglected and abused in the purest sense of those words.

The good news is that you have the power to eliminate that risk for your child if you plan properly.  Even though your child will probably outlive you, you can still take care of your child long after you have left this earth.  If you do what you need to do, there is every reason to believe that your child will never be one of the forgotten.

Imagine yourself having just completed all the the Four Keys to Special Needs Planning.  Here are the four reasons your special needs child will never be neglected:

  1. People are involved with your child. You have created a community of caregivers who have a way to stay updated on your child, have been asked to participate in your child’s life in whatever way they like, have been given specific permission to communicate with the “official” guardian and trustee for your child, and, most importantly, have been made to feel like they are  a part of the group who is responsible for caring for your child.
  2. Money is available for your child. You have made sure that your child will remain eligible for government benefits and that all other financial resources that may be available for your child are found, maximized, and properly managed.
  3. You have left instructions and details. You have left all the information anyone might need to be able to both care for you child and also to make important decisions about their life and care in a way that is important to you and that takes into account all your child’s strengths and preferences.  You have made sure that this information is accessible and available at short notice whenever needed.
  4. The force of law is on your side.  You have been to a lawyer and have gotten all the paperwork, court orders, and legal mumbo jumbo you need to ensure that your plans are carried out the way you intended.

It’s a big project.  It will take you some time and it will take some money to complete this project, but it is within your reach.   If you haven’t gotten our Special Needs Planning Blueprint yet, click here to request your free copy – Blueprint.

Getting smart with leaving an inheritance to young children

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lettle girl with dadAn often overlooked benefit of writing a will and putting together a well thought out estate plan is that you can pass on your values to your children, even if you’re not still physically present.  The most direct way to do this is with what lawyers call the “contingent minors’ trust.”

Even a little can be a lot

If you were to die when your children are still under the age of 18, the law won’t let them have their inheritance directly, but will require it to be managed and directed by an adult until the child is 18.  Unless you say otherwise, as soon as your child blows out those candles on their 18th birthday, they will be handed the whole caboodle to do with as they please.  Even if you don’t think you have very much to leave to anyone, its likely you at least have a house with a small amount of equity, maybe a small employer provided life insurance policy, and maybe a car or two to sell.  Even a very modest estate can wind up leaving $20,000 or so to your kids, and if you don’t think an 18 year old should be left unsupervised with $20,000, then you need to set up a minor’s trust.

What is a trust?

A trust is a way of owning property that gives the right to use the money to one person and the right to manage the money to another. In the case of a contingent minor’s trust, your will would say that if your children are under the age of 18 when you die, you want their share of the inheritance to be put into a trust for their benefit, to be managed by a person that you choose.

And then things get interesting.  By creating a trust, you can direct how and when the money is used.  This is how you are able to pass on more than just things, but also your values and priorities to your children.  With the inheritance in a trust account, the age at which the child is given the money can be delayed to any age you choose, and the trustee can be directed to use the money according to your priorities.

EXAMPLE ONE

Parent writes their will when the children are very young and parent has no idea what the child will be interested in as an adult nor does the parent have any idea how responsible the child is likely to be.  The trust is written to maximize protection and also cover a broad array of possible expenses.  As an example, the trust says that the trustee can spend money to pay for higher education expenses, vocational training, or a down payment on a home.  The trustee will remain in control until the child reaches age 25, at which time 1/2 the remaining money will be distributed to the child, and the remaining amount at the age of 30.

EXAMPLE TWO

Parent revises will when the children are in their late teens.  Parent has been very successful in business and has an estate of about two million, meaning the children will receive a fairly large inheritance.  Parent is concerned that children learn how to support themselves and manage money, so the trust is written to promote those goals.  As an example, the trust says that the trustee may pay for higher education expenses as long as progress is being made toward a degree, or may pay for startup costs of a business with a well designed business plan.  The trust may not pay ordinary living expenses more than one year after graduation.  The child may become co-trustee at the age of 26 in order to learn money management skills with the guidance of the older trustee.

Your values in action

Both of these examples show the parent basically offering support to their child in the same way that they would if they were alive.  If the amount of the trust is large, it can continue to age 30, 35, or older.  Or if you believe in learning by doing, you can distribute parts of the trust directly to the child to learn or fail on their own. The trustee can be given the discretion to use the money for education and living expenses only, or to pay for travel and sightseeing or other life experiences besides formal education.  In other words, your own priorities as a parent can be built into the trust.

To learn more about using trusts in your estate plan, send us a note or give us a call.  We’re always happy to do short consults to help you decide if its time to bite the bullet and do your estate plan.

Parker Counsel special needs law firm is available by phone: 833-RED-BOOT (833-733-2668), by email: legal@parkercounsel.com, or schedule a short informational phone call with calendly. 

How to Rock a Blue Moon

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Blue moonIt’s January.  The full moon is January 2 . . . and then on the last day of the month, January 31, we have a second full moon, a Blue Moon.  You know some things only happen once in a Blue Moon, so this month we are celebrating the somewhat rare occurrence of the Blue Moon by encouraging folks to engage in another fairly rare event: the making of a will.

If you don’t have a will, you’ve got plenty of company.  About 60% of adults in the US don’t have one, according to a survey by Caring.com.   Not surprisingly, the percentage of people who do have a will increases with age, but since you have about a 15% chance of dying before the age of 50, having a will earlier rather than later in life is the best choice.  And since the younger you are the less likely you are to have a will, that means that people who have young children are very likely to have no will or any other documents to protect their children if the parents die.

Why don’t most people have a will?  Of those who don’t have one, the number one answer as to why (47%) was that they just hadn’t gotten around to it.  In other words, they had no reason, they simply had not done it.

If you have children, and especially if you have a child with a special need who will never be fully independent, there should be more of a reason to avoid providing for their future care than simply “I haven’t done it yet.”  Whatever your reason for not facing this, we can find a way to overcome it.  The Law Office of Pamela Parker is committed to helping families prepare for the future of their children with special needs, whatever it takes. Tell us what is holding you back, and we’ll help you move around that block.  Under the Blue Moon, anything is possible.

To celebrate the Blue Moon this month, we’ll be posting a new version of either “Blue Moon of Kentucky” or “Blue Moon” every day on our facebook pages:   Texas Residents  Massachusetts Residents

Check it out – and send us a note at legal@parkercounsel.com  or give us a call at 512-804-9934 or 413-203-9358 to rock this Blue Moon with your own estate plan.

You are not the only person who can care for your child

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My heart is breaking again.  Several times a year, every year, I see stories such as this one – an aging or ill parent caring for a disabled child, has become isolated and hopeless that anyone will ever be able to properly take over the care of their child, and ultimately sees only one way out:  to leave this world together with their child.

The latest story ended in even more tragedy than most of these stories.  A mother facing cancer tried to end her life and her daughter’s life, but the mother did not die.  The mother was found before death and saved, only to face criminal charges in the death of her daughter.  Convicted and facing prison two years later, she was able to try again and this time succeeded in ending her life, as well.

You can read the story in the Chicago Tribune here.

Although it is easy for parents to tell themselves that they would never do such a thing, far too many parents face their child’s adulthood without adequate support and planning and cause untold stress for themselves during their own lifetime, as well as needless stress and chaos for their family after they die.   And yes, a few become so overwhelmed that they make what they have convinced themselves is the best choice for their child.

Please don’t wait to learn about what you can do to prepare for the time when you are no longer able to personally care for you child.  There are choices.  There are safe choices. There are happy choices.  But the longer you wait, the fewer choices you have.

Start here –Four Keys to Special Needs Planning –   or simply call us for an appointment to sit and talk about your situation and how to put together a plan that will make sure your child is safe and secure until the natural end of their life.

Parker Counsel special needs law firm is available by phone: 833-RED-BOOT (833-733-2668), by email: legal@parkercounsel.com, or schedule a short informational call with Calendly.