Author: Parker Counsel

Holidays – good or bad?

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All parents of special needs children, no matter how old they are, know that the holidays present extra challenges.  Even children and adults who love the holidays can be overwhelmed by the festivities.  Add in families that don’t fully understand the limitations your special needs family may have in participating in family traditions, and it’s easy to let the holiday stress be your focus instead of the holiday fun.  My wish to you this season is to recognize that more people are behind you than you know, and to remember that every family is unique and all traditions, even non-traditions, are valid.

And in that spirit, I share with you my 24yo son’s photo with Santa, taken yesterday at the mall.  Dylan loves Santa, but sitting with him in the middle of a busy mall in front of flashing lights was a little more than he could handle.  Fortunately, Santa looks more amused than annoyed!  img_20161221_160422

Share your own favorite holiday photos below.

Life is not like a movie

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While happily scrolling my facebook feed today, checking out what my friends’ kids wore to the first day of school, and who is outraged about what today, I was suddenly stopped in my tracks by this headline:  “Last hospitalized Pulse shooting survivor discharged after nearly three months.”

Pulse?  That was the horrifying mass shooting in Orlando that happened, when, a long time ago, right?  Long enough ago that I’ve had time to be horrified, outraged, sickened, sad, and then . . . going on with my life.  So the news that one of the victims is only now getting out of the hospital, that one of the victims has been under hospital care for nearly the whole of summer, stopped me in my tracks.

Because it’s easy to forget that tragic, massive events don’t end once the story has been thoroughly reported.  They don’t unfold like in the movies, where victims or car accidents, or fatal diseases, or even mass shootings, either die or survive.  In the movies, victims who die are buried and eulogized, victims who survive get up and leave.

In real life, injuries bring your life into a different dimension.  Three months in the hospital can decimate whatever order you had in your life, and if, as is likely, the recovery will continue after release for months or years longer, your life will and must be different.

Which is why planning for the possibility of disruption in your life is so very important.  Legal, financial, and personal contingency plans make the difference between hardship and disaster.  They make the difference between stress about the injury, and stress about every single thing in your life. They make the difference between having the people you know love and care about you around helping, and not having them there.

Writing a will is important, but it’s only one small part of what you will do with an estate planning attorney.  You will also get help putting a plan in place that gets as close as possible in the event of a traumatic injury,  to keeping you focused on your injury and recovery, not on everything else.

When you plan with Pam, things go more smoothly.

Drop Everything! Where’s the POA??

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stickman-310590_1280You wrote a will, completed a power of attorney (POA), and you review yearly to see if updates need to be made.  You are doing well and your family will be in good shape if something happens to you.

Or will they be?

Just as important as having those documents, is making sure your executor and agents can find them when they are needed.  If you’re in the hospital and your POA is needed to conduct important business for you, would your agent be able to find it?  Maybe you even gave your agent a copy of it and they have it in their possession – do they know where they put it?  Can they lay their hands on it quickly when they need it?

It may be years after you make these documents before they are needed.   Remembering where you put a piece of paper years ago can be a lot harder than you think.  Especially if the house has been rearranged, new furniture bought, maybe even a move . . . and then no one knows where the folder with mom’s POA has wound up.

I recommend a once a year document drill.  Pick a day – maybe your birthday – to lay hands on your will and other documents.  And if you have given copies to other family members, call them up and ask them to lay hands on the papers.  Simply reciting where they are kept is not enough. Tell them to go physically pick them up and look at them, then report back to you that they’ve done it.

They will thank you when the time comes to use those documents.

Three must-do actions when your child turns 17

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The 18th birthday is a milestone – the day you are finally an adult! You get to make your own decisions, Mom and Dad can no longer tell you what to do.  You can rent an apartment on your own.  You can vote.  ID-10067073

Parents Lose Rights

These are things kids think about and get excited about when the are turning 18.    But when your child has a disability that makes it difficult or impossible for them to take on adulthood by themselves, turning 18 means a vastly different set of milestones.   For the parent, your child’s 18th birthday means that the doctor can no longer give you medical information about your child.  It means you can no longer tell the doctor how to treat your child.  It means the school can no longer make you a part of ARD meetings, or tell you how your child is doing in school.

These are just a few of the changes that come when a child turns 18.  For a child that needs help, parents are severely restricted in how they can be involved in their child’s life – unless they have planned ahead.

Get Ready Before the Big Day

The time to prepare is when your child is 17.  Here are 3 things you should do before your child turns 18.

1. Talk to your child’s doctor about whether he or she will need a guardianship.  Guardianship involves a court determination, based primarily but not exclusively on a doctor’s assessment, that an individual is unable to care for themselves and needs a person appointed to act on their behalf and manage their affairs.

2. Talk to an attorney.  Once your child’s doctor has indicated whether your child is a candidate for guardianship, you need to start preparing.  if guardianship is the appropriate option, the attorney will begin preparing to petition the court.   If guardianship is not an option, the attorney will talk to you about a variety of ways to ensure that you continue to have access to medical and educational information about your child so that you can appropriately help your child with their new adult responsibilities.

3. Prepare for an SSI application.  Supplemental security benefits are a need based benefit which also comes with medicaid benefits.  At age 18, only the child’s income and assets are considered for eligibility, so a younger child who was not eligible for benefits because the family income was too high, will probably be eligible at age 18 if they otherwise meet the disability requirements.  However, if the child has property or money worth more than $2000, they will not be eligible.  There are ways to save this money for the use of the child and still have the child be eligible for SSI.  Talk to an attorney BEFORE you apply for SSI to see what you can do.

Parker Counsel Legal Services can help you understand how to use special needs trusts and ABLE accounts together in a well designed plan to provide for the future needs of your child with a special need. We serve families in Texas, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New Hampshire. Contact us for a consultation at 833-RED-BOOT (833-733-2668) or legal@parkercounsel.com